Transition of Thoughts

Weaving thoughts into words

Storm

Storm

The howling winds had

driven away his sleep and

the rain played spoilsport

on the plan for the weekend

to go out for a picnic

Linking to dVerse Challenge: 5-Line Japanese Poetic Forms

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15 Comments

  1. I like how each line slowly advances the “story,” gradually giving a more complete picture.

  2. I like the description of the rain as a “spoilsport”.

  3. Terse images, each building layer upon layer, until the final disappointment is unveiled. Well done!

  4. Beverly Crawford

    Yep. It certainly rained on his parade!

  5. Helen Dehner

    Hope your poem isn’t a forecast for weather in Bend Oregon … need to breathe fresh air and feel the sun on my face. Well done.

    • transitionofthoughts

      Ahh! Hope there’s some sun coming your way soon enough :).

  6. Disappointment…well expressed. The weather can spoil the best of plans. (K)

  7. Weather’s one of those things impossible to ignore when it throws a tantrum.

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