Transition of Thoughts

Weaving thoughts into words

Friendship – Does gender really matter?

Friends with the opposite gender.. Is it possible?

Friends with the opposite gender.. Is it possible?


From the time we are small, our friends and Bollywood movies all around us teach us that a girl and a boy can never be friends. A lot of parents feel that mixing with the opposite gender can lead to their children losing their way in their studies. And therefore, many prefer their children going to an only-boys or an only-girls school. They feel that with the absence of the opposite gender, their children’s minds wouldn’t wander and they would concentrate completely on their studies. Is that really the case?

Interestingly, from what I have heard from friends who have studied in only-boys schools, their minds wander a lot more into useless activities in classrooms and beyond compared to those who studied in co-ed institutions. The main reason for this is the fact that guys try to be at their best behavior when in the company of the opposite gender.

While making friends, differentiating people based on religion, region, caste, gender etc. is quite stupid in my opinion. We are social beings and need each others company to live life happily and peacefully. Having friends and meeting people from a varied variety of backgrounds, regions, religions, genders etc. teaches us so much.

While a guy may think practically and help you sort out your problem, a girl may think emotionally and empathize with you by sitting and understanding what you are going through. She may take the time to calm you down and make it a point to ask your well being each day until you are fine. While a guy may tend to prefer partying as a means of hanging out, a girl may prefer talking over a simple dinner spread as a means of spending some time together.

Having friends of both genders helps bring perspective to our lives. Both men and women tend to feel, think and react in different ways to different situations. And this is where each of them can support us in their own way.

Think from your heart rather than your brain before making friends. Enough said!

Linking to NaBloPoMo (National Blog Post Month – April – My post no 5 for this month.

Written for Indispire 62: Do you think we all need friends of both genders? Why or Why not? Is it possible?

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  1. I feel gender is never a deciding factor in friendship. We make friends because we like them and we are comfortable with them. Everything else doesn’t matter and shouldn’t matter.

    • aseemrastogi2

      Totally Saru. Friendships start from the heart not just the mind :).

  2. I believe it is possible. The only thing that matters in friendship is trust and understanding like in any relationship.

    • aseemrastogi2

      True Saurabh. It’s just a bit sad that not a lot of people think that way. And that’s why all the so called differences between the opposite genders crop up time and again.

  3. Beautiful post! I also believe freindship is above religion, gender, culture and all other barriers. Children’s tender minds are like brooding ground for friendship. We could make friends easily when we were kids. So, co-education in schools is necessary to develop healthy and friendly relation between both genders from the very beginning. Then we will be able to develop a better society.

    • aseemrastogi2

      Thanks Moon. Nice to know you liked my post :).

      We need to realize that friendships start from the heart rather than the mind. Welcome to my blog :).

  4. Good post, Aseem…in light of a recent popular culture icon expressing himself in a televised interview discussing the subject of gender, this conversation has come up a few times over the past couple weeks in my home.

    We’re living in a fascinating time in history when it comes to gender relations, gender likenesses and gender differences…heck, all things gender. The more the conversation is discussed and shared, the more the stigmas and barriers will be broken down. Yes, men and women are different, but the same in many ways. For too long, society(ies) have placed too much emphasis on the differences or on identifying factors of what makes someone a certain gender.

    Although someone may identify with one gender, they can be friends or have better relationships with the opposite gender, or vice versa. I’ve had friends of both genders, but when I was younger found that some friendships of opposite gender couldn’t survive if one of the friends became interested in “more” than a friendship. It can be complicating…but I now see my daughter navigating gender and friendships in her own unique way, and it’s refreshing to see the changes, more openness and flexible at times. As someone posted earlier…trust, respect and understanding, and all those other positive tenets are what matters in a friendship.

    • aseemrastogi2

      Nice to know you liked my post :).

      As shown by your daughter, I am sure as generations go by, we are slowly but surely navigating through such relationships with much more ease than before.

      There’s always the case wherein some of the opposite gender think that the relationship is more than friendship. But then just for few, one shouldn’t stop or discourage making friends with the opposite gender.

      The best part I liked about your comment is that men and women are different in many ways but are same in many ways too. Guess not too many people think that way :).

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