Transition of Thoughts

Weaving thoughts into words

Whose a ‘good girl’ after all?

Whose a good girl after all?

Whose a good girl after all?


Each of us has a definition for how a good girl should be. Some say that a good girl is one who respects elders. Some say that a good girl is disciplined in her habits in the sense that she doesn’t smoke, drink, do drugs and the likes. Some say that a good girl knows how to cook and do the household work at home and keep others happy. Some say that a good girl is one who can do professional work as well as household work successfully.

But then who decides the definition of a good girl? Is there someone who has the final authority on that? The answer is a big NO. Such definitions are nothing but our view of how a girl, daughter, wife, sister, mother should be. But who are we to decide what constitutes being a ‘good girl’? Secondly, is there really something like a ‘good girl’ or a ‘good boy’?

To me this concept of calling someone a ‘good girl’ or a ‘good boy’ is quite lame and stupid to be honest. In today’s world there’s no one who is perfect. The old Hindi movies depicted the actress as someone who listens to everything told to her and does as she is told. But today women are rising up the career ladder in many fields, are more independent and are no more ready to listen to anything and everything told to them. While this is not good news for those who still treat women disgustingly, it’s a reality we need to accept. This doesn’t mean women do anything they feel like. But instead, it’s all about doing what they feel is the best in any given situation.

Moreover, it’s interesting that not many people talk about being a ‘good boy’. Is it because only the girl is married away to a new household and the boy has all the fun? Is it because girls are considered inferior to men? Is it because girls are not doing too well professionally compared to men? Whatever be the reason, a lot many societies around the world have always considered women as inferior to men in every way. And therefore, being a ‘good girl’ is defined as a very important factor when a girl is about to get married.

I would say that this is also ingrained in our psyche from the time we are young. How many of the girls have heard their parents saying “Become disciplined otherwise no one will marry you.”?  Who decides what’s discipline here? The parents, the boy or the girl? Do parents realize that if they have instilled the right values in their children, their daughters would surely be disciplined accordingly rather than worrying about being disciplined on the whims and fantasies of the boy’s parents.

The faster we realize that we have risen much above the so called ‘good girl’ and ‘good boy’ concepts, the better it is for us. The world is moving at a faster pace like never before. We need to keep pace with our thinking lest we fall way behind the rest of the pack as everyone would presume us to be nothing but the moral police.

Written for the Indispire prompt edition 46: Define good girls… Everybody has an opinion about a good girl…so whats yours? #GoodGirls

Linking to NaBloPoMo (National Blog Post Month – January) – My post no 3 for this month.

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  1. Good one Aseem. I echo your thoughts that it’s in the mind, the cultural nuances, the codes engrained in our minds. A good girl or a good boy should be a good human and that is to me most important.

    • aseemrastogi2

      Thanks Parul :). True, becoming a good human being is the most important thing after all. But sadly, not too many people understand that :/.

  2. I really enjoy your blog! That is why I just nominated you for the “Very Inspiring Blogger” – Award! – Stop by my blog to find out what to do next:

  3. I say, why put a label. Let them be who they are. But we all know how much we love judging others and putting them in the bracket of wrong or right.

    • aseemrastogi2

      True Saru. I would say that we need to realize that we can’t paint people either black or white. I guess grey is the right way to go as everyone has his or her positives and negatives :).

  4. A person should primarily be a good human being, in every way. The yardstick for ‘goodness’ or ‘badness’ depends much on several factors..culture, society, religion etc. But as you’ve mentioned, all over the world, there is a tendency to mark or label girls…that’s because they are easy targets, vulnerable and our society takes pride on moral policing.

    Liked the way you’ve established the points 🙂

  5. Interesting article. I was always called a ‘good girl’ in my teens despite drinking and smoking. This has made me think a lot about calling my son a ‘good boy’, I have come to the conclusion I need to stop, I am only calling him a good boy when he does as he is told or something I approve of. Therefore, it is me, defining him as a good or bad person. And that’s not right!

    Thank you for linking up with the #WeekendBlogHop

    Laura x x x

    • aseemrastogi2

      Laura, I guess when we define our children as good or bad, it still maybe fine. The fact that society also starts defining good or bad based on their particular thoughts and beliefs is what causes me to cringe. If we as parents do our bit, our children would surely know what’s good and what’s bad. Who is society to define it for us? 🙂

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