Transition of Thoughts

Weaving thoughts into words

Pre-Marital Sex: To be or not to be?

Pre-Marital Sex: Yes or No?

Pre-Marital Sex: Yes or No?


Pre-marital sex is a word which can’t be uttered in many countries for fear of the so called moral brigade. It’s a term which has always been associated with religion, culture, regions, caste, creed and the likes. While people of some religions and regions allow it, there are many countries and many religions which consider it as a sin. But whatever be the case, people are slowly but surely starting to be more open about it.

Our traditional Indian family values which are embedded into our system from the time we are small children are based on the fact that when we marry someone, we should marry him or her for the whole life (or for 7 births as they used to say). We should consider everything from the nature of our partner to the social well-being of the family before making our decision. And then once the decision is made, we should stand by it till the time we are not in this world.

But then as the years have gone by, the times have changed quite a great deal. Though the values still hold meaning, more and more people are being open about their sexuality and sexual preferences. While during earlier times, holding hands was considered a big deal before marriage for those who were actually in love with each other, today it’s no big deal at all. Today, kissing, hugging, having sexual intercourse and so on and so forth are being considered as normal by the youngsters who aren’t married or don’t even plan on getting married either.

Yes, openness and a free society is good. But then, there are a couple of things which need to be taken care of. Firstly, parents should talk to their children about sex, live-in relationships, premarital sex etc. at the right time without thinking of it as a taboo topic. It’s the best that they learn about it at home first rather than from friends and colleagues outside.

Moreover, even if youngsters were to indulge in sex before marriage, they need to be made aware of all the sexually transmitted diseases which are a threat if safe sex is not practiced. It’s very easy to think that “It won’t happen to me“. But prevention is always better than cure, isn’t it?

Before getting into the act of pre-marital sex, both the partners need to have the understanding on the kind of expectation they have from the relationship. There are so many times when one of the partners actually falls in love while all the other can think of is lust. When such a situation arises, it’s just a simple recipe for disaster. For couples who do plan to take the relationship to marriage, a lot of pre-marital sex mat also lead to a mundane and boring sex life in the future.

And moreover, there are other things like having sex with an under-age individual as well as promising marriage but betraying your partner which can land you up in jail for quite a while.

For me, sex is a very personal form of expression of love. Each of us should have the freedom to decide who or what we want from any relationship. No individual has any right to force their views on us by any extreme measures. We need to come out of our narrow mindset where sex is considered a very bad thing to do.

While I would say a YES for pre-marital sex since it’s a reality in today’s world, one must fully know what he or she is getting into before jumping on the bandwagon.

This post is written as part of a contest YES or NO to Pre-Marital Sex on Indiblogger.

Poonaam Uppal  who is known as the Love Goddess unravels the various secrets of love in her book – A Passionate Gospel of True Love : A Mystical True Love Story.

Linking to NaBloPoMo (National Blog Post Month – December) – My post no 13 for this month.

Add to DeliciousAdd to DiggAdd to FaceBookAdd to Google BookmarkAdd to RedditAdd to StumbleUponAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Twitter


Peshawar Attack: Lives Lost. Dreams Crushed.


Five Sentence Fiction: A glimmer of hope


  1. Personal observation…Woman who marries as a virgin tend be more obedient then those who aren’t virgins.
    Men who needs or wants a virgin wife tend to be more controlling.
    Coffee is on

  2. Sex is still a taboo in our society. Pre marital sex has no place at all. It can not, right?

    But everything from holding hands to kissing to making love, is a couple’s personal discretion. That is the only thing people need to understand.

    Very well written thoughts Aseem! And I liked the way you gave importance to the most ignored consequences of sex. 🙂

    • aseemrastogi2

      Nice to know you liked the post Sushmita :).

      I guess what’s important is that youngsters realize that there’s a lot more associated with sex than just the pleasure it gives both the individuals.

Leave a Reply

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén

%d bloggers like this: