Update: I guess all of you need to read the whole post to understand the point I am trying to make. You can hold your judgements about my character till that point!
Dear Modern Woman,
How come you are alive? Your parents didn’t kill you? But the facts say that every year thousands of girl children are dumped in dustbins, on roads, left in hospitals or killed alive. Maybe you are among the lucky few to have survived. I must congratulate you for that. But then, you never know in this big bad world, when disaster comes calling. If you think you can cheat death by surviving accidents or illnesses you cannot be more wrong.
Amongst our ilk, there is a huge number who are ready to rape, strip, molest and do all that and much more to women like you at the drop of a hat. And that could drive you to kill yourself or we could do the formalities ourselves. I can hear you ask as to who gave us this right. We are a nation where crimes against you are brushed under the carpet so easily that who wouldn’t be encouraged to satisfy his voyeuristic pleasures. Whether we pinch a girl’s buttocks or grab her breasts, whether we strip her clothes or grope her in public, people would be ready to join us, but no one would bother to save her. How do you expect us not to satisfy our pleasures in such a scenario?
We see you as desirable objects who have to be taken. If we can’t get you by asking, we do it by force. Our testosterone levels also need to be managed well, isn’t it?
So if you want to protect yourself, we direct you to follow the below rules created by us –
1. Don’t wear revealing clothes and cover your body parts at all times – Nowadays wherever we see, there are so many of you walking around showing your cleavage, breasts, mid riff, legs and what not. And from what we have seen, so many of you do it on purpose to attract us. Wouldn’t we get aroused seeing so much skin? We are humans after all. If we then proceed to touch you, why call it rape? Best solution – Avoid such clothes itself and cover every body part.
2. Don’t go to pubs / discos / parties – Kiran Bedi says that pubs attract violence. Atanu Bhuyan, the editor of News Live says that pubs and discos attract prostitutes. Why would you then go to such places? These places attract vandalism of the highest order. And parties, the lesser said about the better. They are the places where people like us are always on the lookout for girls like you. We do all we can to talk and when you don’t listen, the results can be disastrous!
3. Don’t be out of the house after 6pm – Everytime when the government or the police pass an order restraining you from doing something, you start a campaign against it. Don’t you think their decisions have some meaning behind them? The night time is free for all of us to roam around. It’s the easiest for our kinds to enjoy ourselves and cause you harm. So wouldn’t you be better off staying at home after 6pm? Prevention is better than cure as far as I can think.
4. Don’t mingle or fight with any male – If you mess with us, we mess with you. You have just one way of getting back at us that is by words. But we know the easiest way of spoiling your life if you even mess with us one bit. So just keep away!
5. Become a house-maker rather than having a professional career – Too many of you these days seem to be having the urge to work. When we can do that pretty well, why do you bother? Its only because you go to offices in such tight fitting clothes that we men get aroused and see you as things and then have some fun. Stay at home and run the house. That’s your job!
We don’t promise that you would be 100% safe even if all these rules are religiously followed. But we hope that this way rapes and molestations will end in our society. And all such men can go back and enjoy sleeping with their wives rather than being sexually frustrated!
Yours truly,
Your well wisher
PS for those who didn’t get my post –
1. Sarcasm, irritation and frustration are all intended.
2. For men who are pissed off, yes even I know all men are not rapists or molesters
Sudo Ouest
Really? Of all the topics in the world where the blade of sarcasm can be used, you choose to use it in a sensitive issue like this. yes, I understand that you are angry about the general scenario of women’s rights and safety, but this article looks like it was written by an insensitive douche- no offense. On these issues, it is better to write straight up than to beat around the bush.
And not to be rude, your writing still needs a lot of work. Examplle:…”or killed alive”.
aseemrastogi2
Before writing this post, I was aware that there would be a section of the populace who wouldn’t agree with the contents of this post. I believe sarcasm as a tool can be used anywhere but one has to use it wisely and with proper understanding. Only then it works. But most of the time, there are a lot of people who either disagree with the sarcasm itself or don’t get it at all. Not a problem. To each is his own and I got your point that you didn’t agree with sarcasm being used for this post.
As far as being sensitive over this issue is concerned, I have written a couple of posts on women’s safety earlier as well which were anything but sarcastic. But what happened in Guwahati irritated me no end to end up writing the complete opposite. My writing is always a work in progress. And I agree to that. And am happy that my readers like you are always there to help me improve myself :).
IRanjan
Hey Aseem, kudos for writing this post. Whether sarcastic or direct, what matters most is that you belong to that minority population of individuals who feel so strongly about the humiliation women face in India. Molestation and rape have become as common as bread and butter. Infact I found your writing quiet sensitive. Forget men, we women ourselves shy away from voicing out. By the way the above points are exactly the way some of my male and female justify it.
aseemrastogi2
Thanks Ilika :). Nice to know you liked my post. First things first. I am happy that you were able to get the point of my post. I was ready for quite a lot of hate mail at first you know :P. Actually all of us love to crib about such things in the comfort of our homes but finally when it comes to speak out against it, most of us prefer to take the easy way out – Just not say anything at all.
You know Ilika, the first thing my one of my friends said about the Guwahati incident was “Why did a 11th std girl end up in a pub?”. And I was like does that justify what happened later? I mean even a prostitute has the right not to get raped. I wonder if our educated and well read class is like this, what can we expect from the others.
And you also put forth an interesting point. So many women I have seen blame the girl in the end. I mean its just sad and disgusting. It’s just like “I am showing some skin. Please come and rape!”
The way its going, I am sure a time will come when women will hit back. And they will hit back so hard that a man won’t be able to respond ever in his lifetime. I guess maybe that’s what these men need to rein themselves in.
By the way before others think by hitting back I mean to advocate violence, I am instead trying to voice the sense of frustration a women of any class, creed, caste, religion would be going through each and everyday.
IRanjan
Hey Aseem, I actually ended up hitting a fruit vender yesterday at Lajpat Nagar, New Delhi. For the first time I was in that market and the man squeezed my hand thrice. God, it is so frustating and I hit on his hand. He did not say a word and i escaped. I think the day has come when women have started hitting back :-).
As far as women voicing out is concerned, you will find only five in 100 who will have an opinion about these issues. Most of them conveniently accept the system as it is.
aseemrastogi2
I think now its the time for men to fear then :). But on a serious note, the biggest problem even today is that women who are in villages or societies where they are not encouraged to voice themselves, they just submit themselves to be exploited. And no one does anything about it :(.
Interestingly, I have seen / heard / spoke to a lot many women in cities who feel that women themselves are to blame most of the time for such a thing. If that’s what people think, its really a sad situation.
doopy
I appreciate your attempt at satire here…if only it weren’t so close to what people actually believe! Many who read this will nod their heads and miss the sarcasm completely.
The tendency of our society to blame women for what men do to them reflects the exact same mentality that makes this problem so widespread.
Men are not animals. They have a responsibility to control themselves. This might be easier without the mother-smothering, sexual repression, and fetishization of virginity they’re subjected to by a conservative culture.
Likewise, women have a right to go wherever they please and do whatever they want, without fearing that some sleazy man will molest them (and be excused for it, due to deplorable sexist attitudes).
I’m not sure how effective this particular piece is, but keep fighting for sanity and equality however you can.
aseemrastogi2
Sadly, I guess you maybe right. Some men who still really believe this would miss the point. But then I know a lot of people (men and women alike) who actually liked this post for the fact that it shows how deplorable men’s attitudes towards women have become. And that’s anything but acceptable.
As for our conservative culture, it is a matter of debate whether that is what affects the mindset of men. But I personally feel slowly the cultures which maybe our parents or grandparents were part of, are changing. I am not sure of the reduction in rape cases with this. But today more and more people are fighting to ensure safety of women. And even women have begun to fight back as well which wasn’t the case in an earlier time.
So things are changing. But then it’s quite slow and would take quite a bit of time.