We live to please our parents. We live to please our extended families. We live to please our partners. We live to please our bosses. We live to please our friends and colleagues. But do we ever really live to please ourselves? Do we try to do what makes us feel good? Do we try to keep ourselves happy? Do we try to actually LIVE a life?
From the time we are small, we are taught to listen to our parents. We eat what they say. We go to the school which they select for us. We go to the tuitions which they consider as best. Obviously we listen to them like obedient children because they would know the best considering their age and experience. But then, slowly but surely we start doing things just to keep them happy. We avoid any situation which would give them a bad impression about us. We also avoid doing anything which may give them a bad name in the society. Obviously there are many of us who start living dual lives where on one side we please our parents but on the other we fool them by partying hard and enjoying as if there is no tomorrow. But that’s beyond the point of this post.
When its the time to decide about marriage, there are so many of us who just agree to what our families tell us to do. Obviously who cares if we love a girl / guy. If he / she is from a different caste, religion, creed, then our parents and families would get a bad name, wouldn’t they? Thinking that pleasing our families is more important than our happiness, we agree to what they say. Obviously they would think the best for us, wouldn’t they?
In a relationship, we always try to keep the other party happy. Whether its buying gifts, roses, cards, going on dates, we try to ensure that our partners are always happy. Its only when the fairytale ends, do we realize that we never thought about ourselves at all.
Even in the corporate world, most of our lives end up trying to please our numerous bosses and colleagues. So many of us work with much dedication and devotion for our respective companies so much so that we even forget our own identities. But only when we leave or our sacked, do we realize our value. It’s then that things like our salaries, work profiles etc. hit us.
So why do we actually live for others? We live for others only for the reason that we feel they know much more and don’t want to hurt them. When our parents tell us what to do and what not to, we don’t like to answer back. Slowly and slowly though we end up forgetting what we want in our lives. We forget what we want to become and start living our parents dreams. Our families talk about marriages, customs and what not. But if we love someone, why don’t we have the guts to accept it? Why don’t we have the guts to tell our family as to what we want in life? Again, its not about guts but instead about keeping everyone happy. By the time we realize that we aren’t happy, its too late.
A relationship is not about keeping one person happy. It’s about how both the individuals feel. It’s about how the two different personalities bond with each other. It’s about how two individuals take the different decisions in life. If a person isn’t happy enough, why is he there in the relationship in the first place? Is it all about gifts, flowers and roses? Or is it just some timepass to please the other sex?
The corporate world is about working for the development of your company. It’s about pleasing your bosses. It’s about working to improve the response to the client. But then its also about working to improve ones appraisal. It’s also about working hard to keep ones salary in sync with his / her market value. It’s about continuously improving ones skills to stay ahead of the others.
These are just a few examples I have taken to show the way we live to please others. Many of us don’t do all this anymore and have become much more confident about what we want. But for thousands of others who still live such a life, I have only one suggestion.
“Don’t leave it till too late. When time comes, you maybe too old to live for yourself!”
PS: One of my friends just pointed out that pleasing others could be the greatest pleasure for many. Yes I agree that there are a lot many like that and I respect their views. But this particular post is for those who just live like this only as some sort of compromise!