When MS Dhoni smashed a six of Nuwan Kulasekara, there was a collective roar from the 1.2 billion in India as well as thousands of Indians across the world. It was the ultimate prize in cricket. It was the ultimate prize for Indian sport (since Indian sport has sadly been limited to cricket more less). It was the prize which all of us had been waiting for since the past 28 years. And finally when it was achieved, it was fitting that the captain who has led us to the Test No 1 ranking and the ICC T20 WC win in 2007 was at the forefront. The whole nation was on the roads honking with flags, with a euphoria which may have been seen only in 1947 when we got independence.
But then why wasn’t I that happy? Why wasn’t I jumping and calling everyone and sundry? Why wasn’t the hostel in SIBM Pune Lavale campus bursting with crackers and noises? Why was there a silence all around broken by few intermittent screams and chants of “Indiiiiiaaaaaa Indiiiaaaaa”? Why did it seem as though things were ending all around you? Why was my happiness mixed with sadness?
While the entire nation was celebrating, I was wandering about how my life would change in the next two days. I was wandering about what all I have learnt and unlearnt in the past six years of college life. I was wandering about how life would change from giving PPTs in class to giving PPTs to bosses, from playing politics in college festivals to playing politics in company boardrooms, from having no tensions and chilling out all the time during college to shouldering responsibilities at work.
I was wandering on how six years of my life had passed in a whiff without I even realising it. I was wandering on whether things would ever remain this way again. I was wandering what would my condition be like when I join the rat race like millions others. I was wandering on what it would feel like to support your family, your parents and shoulder responsibilities of the family.
It was the ultimate feeling of being on the crossroads of life. In such a case, it was a complete case of mixed emotions for me. How could I be completely happy when India won? How could I not be happy when India won as I would be labelled “unpatriotic”?
As college life ends tomorrow, I leave Lavale and Pune hoping to come back again sometime in the future in the next phase of my life!
“Only when you can feel something slipping from you, do you realise the value of it!”