“I am really scared to talk in front of a huge crowd of people. What if I make a mistake?”
“That sounds crazy. I can’t elope with that guy. What will society say?
“Are you crazy? How can you even think I will walk up to her and propose? She’s way beyond my league. What if she slaps me?”
“I am terrified of heights. Please don’t consider me for the bungee jumping experience.”
How many of you have come across any or all of the above situations? I can hear a lot of people saying ‘Yes’. Fear is that unpleasant emotion which makes you feel that any thing living or dead would cause harm to you.
Fear arises due to two particular reasons. First is our perception on the comments we would get from people or anyone else in the society. We are nervous that people would make fun of us if we stammer on the stage. We are scared to go up and propose to someone we love just because we feel they may react awkwardly.
Second is the fears created in our minds due to any experiences of our near and dear ones in the past. Survivors on a plane crash fear flying for a long time. The fear of death results in fear of heights and prevents us from engaging in activities like bungee jumping or sky diving.
The fear of something shows us those sides of individuals which are rarely seen in a normal scenario. When fear overpowers a person’s thinking capabilities, he or she tends to think one – dimensionally. An individual may be quite comfortable speaking in front of his friends. But when he goes on stage, he loses coherence in his speech. A guy may flirt with any and every girl around. But if he really loves someone, he may keep wondering on her reaction to his proposal.
The first step to conquer ones fears is to acknowledge it. If you fear something, talk to yourself about it. Talk to your loved ones. Jot down the various reasons on why you fear that particular thing. Whatever you feel, write it down. Try to express yourself as much as you can.
Another way to tackle one’s fears is to face them head on. I loved singing but was nervous singing in front of a huge audience. Maybe it was my fear of forgetting a song or my perception of people’s reactions; I could never muster the courage. But the day I sang in front of more than 500 people, all my perceptions changed. I felt a sense of confidence which I hadn’t experienced before.
We all think that everyone in the audience will notice us and mock us if we make mistakes. Relax. People have their own things to worry about. Making mistakes is perfectly fine.
If you think, there are people who don’t have any fears, then you are wrong. Everyone in this world fears one thing or the other. For some, its a living thing; whether creatures of any kind or humans. And for others, its the fear of the intangible, be it heights, darkness, supernatural etc. Fear by itself is not harmful in any way. But if it starts controlling ones actions, then things start to go downhill.
Fear takes its own time to go away. Whatever the overall time-span to overcome them, one needs to consider it as a part of personality development. As you overcome them and move forward, you will yourself realize the happiness you get by conquering those fears is way more than when they had gripped you.