Who doesn’t love to argue? (Me included :)) Whether its arguing needlessly or arguing to defend your point, arguments are the essence of any discussion. There are some who just keep arguing all the time without any rhyme or reason. They need a reason to just begin themselves. And when they do, they never stop. They just keep arguing for the sake of arguing. While there are others who prefer to avoid arguments outright. Whenever any sort of discussion reaches such a situation, these people tend to leave it lest it may reach a level where verbal and physical fights may result. But why do we argue at all?
All of us have a set of beliefs, a set of values, principles, understanding of certain theories etc. If we observe that a particular thing is out of place or not happening according to our beliefs, values, culture etc. we tend to ask questions. And when it doesn’t match with the other party, arguments begin. When we have a set thinking and believe in certain probable truths, we never accept the other party’s comments or inputs which maybe different from ours. We tend to believe that our thinking is the universal truth. A lot of it has to do with the refusal to change preconceived notions. And then we go all out to show that we are RIGHT!
It’s a natural human tendency to win anything. Who wants to lose anyway? Whether its winning an award or a game or even a fight whether verbal or physical, humans love the feeling of winning every time. A person may begin arguing to prove his point. But after he realizes that his point may not be entirely right, he may take the discussion into a completely different direction just to prove that he is right. Or there maybe a case where he may raise his voice just to show that he is right and the other is wrong. Arguments tend to get heated up most of the time resulting in either or both of the parties to begin abuse or raise their decibel levels.
But then, there are many arguments where the individual who is arguing is trying to make the other person understand his viewpoint. That viewpoint is correct according to a lot of people in the society. But the other person isn’t ready to understand one bit. And this results in a huge furore which may cause issues between the two individuals. Both aren’t willing to accept that each of them have some wrongs to make right.
Whether its arguing with our parents over petty issues or arguing with the project team on what exactly the client expects or even arguing with our wives over household issues, all of us argue to some extent. The only difference – some of us love to extend the argument to the hilt while others end it then and there.
Healthy discussion is fine. But then haven’t we seen too many healthy discussions turning into cat-fights?